My After Sex Buddy

Turn Afterplay into Foreplay

aronblack — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 23:22:05 +0000

If sleep is still foremost in his mind after sex, here’s some after sex advice. For one, try having sex when he’s well rested so there’s less temptation to fall asleep afterward. And if he needs some added encouragement, consider this: Maintaining physical contact after orgasm is an important step to becoming a multi-orgasmic male. After an orgasm, his body tends to want to relax or go to sleep. If instead, he doesn’t withdraw after his orgasm [not recommended if you’re wearing a condom, of course] and you continue caressing one another, the need to relax or sleep will recede behind a new surge of growing arousal.

If he’s still not buying it, and would rather pass out than persist, use the moment to build some sexual anticipation and give him something to savour until you see each other again. Describe something you liked about what just transpired and maybe add a new twist you might like to give it in the future. And just like that, suddenly afterplay becomes foreplay for next time.

Chat Time

aronblack — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 04:27:36 +0000

Cuddling isn’t the only way to stay intimately connected after sex. Much to the chagrin of most guys, many women say this is their favourite time to chat.

It’s a great way to get to know someone (“So what was your name again?”) or to put you back in touch with someone you already know pretty well. The fact that you’ve just had your tongue up someone’s wazoo does tend to make you feel closer. Just be careful; that post-sex grogginess is a bit like being drunk – you’re more open and apt to spill your guts. And, as when you’re drunk, it’s best to avoid the really heavy topics.

“It’s our catch-up time,” one couple tells me. “We reconnect when we have sex, so afterward, it’s like, ‘Hey I know you. What have you been up to?’“ I also find this a good time to explore fantasies – to talk about what you’d like to try. Since you’ve just had sex, there’s no pressure to do anything about it right away.

After Thoughts

aronblack — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 23:09:57 +0000

Sometimes I’m not sure what I like better – sex, or the blissful state after sex when you’re both lying there, bodies entangled, drooling slightly, and everything looks kinda blurry. Before you have to get up and grab whatever’s in the laundry hamper to clean up the mess.

The time when guys notoriously want to roll over and go to sleep.

I still remember one guy I went out with who was notorious for this. We used to joke that he was like one of those dolls whose eyes close when you lay it down. Except it wasn’t all that funny when it happened. Coming down off sex alone – when you’re not alone – is a drag.

And it can be a real source of a tension in a relationship.

She enjoys basking in the afterglow, while remaining relatively conscious, while he slips into a post-coital coma. But before you smack him over the head with a pillow, it’s not entirely his fault.

Comparing men’s and women’s sexual response cycle, there four phases: excitement, a plateau of sustained arousal, orgasm and, finally, resolution. After orgasm the graph for the male cycle takes a nosedive with the resolution phase lasting about a minute, while women enjoy a more gentle descent, taking about five or 10 minutes to come down. In other words, we take longer to warm up and cool down – that is, if we have something to cool down from. Getting to the resolution phase requires the orgasm before it. Sometimes guys get there before us too, sliding into sleep phase while we’re often left twiddling more than our thumbs.

What’s your guy like after sex? A real snoozer? A cuddler? A chatter? A dine-and-dasher?

Buy Now

aronblack — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 07:11:57 +0000

My After Sex Buddy

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Click thumbnails to enlarge

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